The Color Gold
May. 13th, 2010 10:50 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
gamgee_ficsTitle: The Color Gold
Rating: G
Warning: AU
Genre: Parody
Length: Ficlet
Summary: If Alice Walker had written LOTR
The Color Gold, by Samwise Gamgee (Based upon The Color Purple, by Alice Walker)
Dear Rosie,
I decided to write to you instead of that Iluvatar creature Mr. Gandalf told me about. It’s just easier picturing you and your sweet smile. And a lot nicer too.
Any way, the other day, I near thought I was gonna freeze to death. We was moving along just fine and happy when Mr. Aragorn spotted some birds and what does he and Mr. Gandalf do? Turn us ‘round and bring us up a mountain. Don’t make no sense to me but I know better than to say nothing. And sure enough, it start to snow and snow, and then the mountain just crashed down atop of us. All’s I could see for the longest time was white, and I thought I was dead. But Mr. Frodo pulled me out. And wouldn’t you know it, the next thing we be doing is goin’ back down the mountain. It just don’t make no sense to me, but a lot of things don’t make no sense to me, so I must just be missin’ something.
Until next time,
Love,
Your Sam
Dear Rosie,
Moria sure is dark all the time. Mr. Gimli say his cousin Balin used to live here, but I don’t see why anyone want to live in the dark with all these rotten bodies lying ‘round. You think they at least clean up the place a bit.
Mr. Gandalf has a light at the end of his staff that he usin’ to light the way a bit, but I don’t like the dark any less. I keep close to Mr. Frodo and he try and comfort me. Mr. Frodo’s sweet like that. He’s good company and all, but I sure do miss you.
Until next time,
Love,
Your Sam
Dear Rosie,
Mr. Frodo almost die again today. There we was standin’ in this big room and Mr.
Gandalf was readin’ from some big book he found, I don’t know why, but he was readin’ and what does Mr. Pippin go and do? He go and knock one of them rotten bodies down a well, for no clear reason that I can see. And the next thing you know, there’s all these ugly mean creatures comin’ at us with arrows and swords and all and a great huge cave troll that nearly went and smash me to death, but for Mr. Aragorn and Mr. Boromir savin’ me. They sure is brave men. Much braver than me. I was so scared. But I fought cause Mr. Frodo fought and next thing I know I lost Mr. Frodo and the big mean troll had him stuck at the end of a long pointy stick. But Mr. Frodo had him a shiny silver shirt he got from his Uncle Bilbo and he wasn’t hurt. I beginin’ to think Mr. Gandalf should of gotten Mr. Frodo a better protector than me. I just too slow to do any good. Maybe I should of stayed at Bag End and tend the garden. It must be lookin’ something sad by now and it really should be nice and pretty when Mr. Frodo returns from his trip.
Until next time,
Love,
Your Sam
P.S. Mr. Gandalf went and dropped himself down a cliff, I don’t know why. But we was sad to see him go and poor Mr. Pippin could hardly stand from grief being as he was the one went and started the noise to begin with and Mr. Frodo was so upset, he didn’t want to be near nobody. But Mr. Aragorn say we got to get goin’, so we goin’.
I sure am goin’ to miss Mr. Gandalf. He had such pretty fireworks.
Dear Rosie,
I thinkin’ this journey ain’t ever gonna end. I thought we be in Mordor by now, but we just in another forest with some more elves. The Lady Galadriel here is real nice and lovely, but she kinda scare me. She had me look in this mirror of hers and I saw you and everyone bein’ tortured and the Shire all burnt up. I started crying so hard I wanted more than anything to come home and see that you and my Gaffer and all was ok. But Mr. Frodo ain’t leavin’ yet, and so I have to stay with him. Anything less just wouldn’t be right at this point.
But I want you to know I thinkin’ of you all the time.
Until next time,
Love,
Your Sam
Dear Rosie,
I sure don’t like boats and a week on this river ain’t changed my mind one bit. Mr. Aragorn say we be comin’ near the end soon, and I be glad when we do cause I swear there’s this strange log with eyes following us.
On top of everything, Mr. Boromir been given Mr. Frodo strange looks all week and I don’t like it too much. Mr. Frodo don’t notice though. He so tired all the time lately, poor Mr. Frodo ain’t been sleeping too well since we left the Lady Galadriel.
If we had any proper food, I’d cook him up a nice good meal and make him feel better. But we got to watch our food.
Until next time,
Love,
Your Sam
Dear Rosie,
Someone back a couple of Ages ago went and put a couple of statues on the river. They so huge they reach all the way up to the sky. Mr. Aragorn say they be great Kings long ago, but they kinda scare me. Mr. Frodo was kinda scared too, though he tried not to show it. I was glad when we got past them.
Now we camping out near this big waterfall, which means no more boats for awhile. Mr. Aragorn tryin’ to decide what way we should go – Mordor or Gondor. I try to tell them it makes no sense to go to Gondor being as we came to destroy the ring and the only way of doing that is going to Mordor, but I don’t think they listen much.
Now Mr. Boromir comes back (where did he go? I wonder) and he all upset about something. Seems he and Mr. Frodo had a fall out and Mr. Frodo put on the Ring and disappear! And Mr. Boromir have no idea how long ago this was! I got to look for Mr. Frodo. I ain’t losing him again.
Until next time,
Love,
Your Sam
Dear Rosie,
Well, Mr. Frodo went and almost lost me, but I got him to take me with him to Mordor. Almost had to drown myself before he agree. I know he rather go by himself and not put no one else in danger, but there just ain’t no way I was letting him go alone.
I know what we trying to do is as close to impossible as you can get, but at least we got to try. I understand that much at least. And I beginin’ to think I ain’t ever gonna see you again and that make me sad, so I try not to think about it. In fact, I don’t think I ought even to write to you anymore, it just hurt so much to think of you and not be able to see you or hold you. But I sure do miss you.
Until next time (if there is a next time),
Love Always,
Your Sam
GF reposted 2/16/03
Rating: G
Warning: AU
Genre: Parody
Length: Ficlet
Summary: If Alice Walker had written LOTR
The Color Gold, by Samwise Gamgee (Based upon The Color Purple, by Alice Walker)
Dear Rosie,
I decided to write to you instead of that Iluvatar creature Mr. Gandalf told me about. It’s just easier picturing you and your sweet smile. And a lot nicer too.
Any way, the other day, I near thought I was gonna freeze to death. We was moving along just fine and happy when Mr. Aragorn spotted some birds and what does he and Mr. Gandalf do? Turn us ‘round and bring us up a mountain. Don’t make no sense to me but I know better than to say nothing. And sure enough, it start to snow and snow, and then the mountain just crashed down atop of us. All’s I could see for the longest time was white, and I thought I was dead. But Mr. Frodo pulled me out. And wouldn’t you know it, the next thing we be doing is goin’ back down the mountain. It just don’t make no sense to me, but a lot of things don’t make no sense to me, so I must just be missin’ something.
Until next time,
Love,
Your Sam
Dear Rosie,
Moria sure is dark all the time. Mr. Gimli say his cousin Balin used to live here, but I don’t see why anyone want to live in the dark with all these rotten bodies lying ‘round. You think they at least clean up the place a bit.
Mr. Gandalf has a light at the end of his staff that he usin’ to light the way a bit, but I don’t like the dark any less. I keep close to Mr. Frodo and he try and comfort me. Mr. Frodo’s sweet like that. He’s good company and all, but I sure do miss you.
Until next time,
Love,
Your Sam
Dear Rosie,
Mr. Frodo almost die again today. There we was standin’ in this big room and Mr.
Gandalf was readin’ from some big book he found, I don’t know why, but he was readin’ and what does Mr. Pippin go and do? He go and knock one of them rotten bodies down a well, for no clear reason that I can see. And the next thing you know, there’s all these ugly mean creatures comin’ at us with arrows and swords and all and a great huge cave troll that nearly went and smash me to death, but for Mr. Aragorn and Mr. Boromir savin’ me. They sure is brave men. Much braver than me. I was so scared. But I fought cause Mr. Frodo fought and next thing I know I lost Mr. Frodo and the big mean troll had him stuck at the end of a long pointy stick. But Mr. Frodo had him a shiny silver shirt he got from his Uncle Bilbo and he wasn’t hurt. I beginin’ to think Mr. Gandalf should of gotten Mr. Frodo a better protector than me. I just too slow to do any good. Maybe I should of stayed at Bag End and tend the garden. It must be lookin’ something sad by now and it really should be nice and pretty when Mr. Frodo returns from his trip.
Until next time,
Love,
Your Sam
P.S. Mr. Gandalf went and dropped himself down a cliff, I don’t know why. But we was sad to see him go and poor Mr. Pippin could hardly stand from grief being as he was the one went and started the noise to begin with and Mr. Frodo was so upset, he didn’t want to be near nobody. But Mr. Aragorn say we got to get goin’, so we goin’.
I sure am goin’ to miss Mr. Gandalf. He had such pretty fireworks.
Dear Rosie,
I thinkin’ this journey ain’t ever gonna end. I thought we be in Mordor by now, but we just in another forest with some more elves. The Lady Galadriel here is real nice and lovely, but she kinda scare me. She had me look in this mirror of hers and I saw you and everyone bein’ tortured and the Shire all burnt up. I started crying so hard I wanted more than anything to come home and see that you and my Gaffer and all was ok. But Mr. Frodo ain’t leavin’ yet, and so I have to stay with him. Anything less just wouldn’t be right at this point.
But I want you to know I thinkin’ of you all the time.
Until next time,
Love,
Your Sam
Dear Rosie,
I sure don’t like boats and a week on this river ain’t changed my mind one bit. Mr. Aragorn say we be comin’ near the end soon, and I be glad when we do cause I swear there’s this strange log with eyes following us.
On top of everything, Mr. Boromir been given Mr. Frodo strange looks all week and I don’t like it too much. Mr. Frodo don’t notice though. He so tired all the time lately, poor Mr. Frodo ain’t been sleeping too well since we left the Lady Galadriel.
If we had any proper food, I’d cook him up a nice good meal and make him feel better. But we got to watch our food.
Until next time,
Love,
Your Sam
Dear Rosie,
Someone back a couple of Ages ago went and put a couple of statues on the river. They so huge they reach all the way up to the sky. Mr. Aragorn say they be great Kings long ago, but they kinda scare me. Mr. Frodo was kinda scared too, though he tried not to show it. I was glad when we got past them.
Now we camping out near this big waterfall, which means no more boats for awhile. Mr. Aragorn tryin’ to decide what way we should go – Mordor or Gondor. I try to tell them it makes no sense to go to Gondor being as we came to destroy the ring and the only way of doing that is going to Mordor, but I don’t think they listen much.
Now Mr. Boromir comes back (where did he go? I wonder) and he all upset about something. Seems he and Mr. Frodo had a fall out and Mr. Frodo put on the Ring and disappear! And Mr. Boromir have no idea how long ago this was! I got to look for Mr. Frodo. I ain’t losing him again.
Until next time,
Love,
Your Sam
Dear Rosie,
Well, Mr. Frodo went and almost lost me, but I got him to take me with him to Mordor. Almost had to drown myself before he agree. I know he rather go by himself and not put no one else in danger, but there just ain’t no way I was letting him go alone.
I know what we trying to do is as close to impossible as you can get, but at least we got to try. I understand that much at least. And I beginin’ to think I ain’t ever gonna see you again and that make me sad, so I try not to think about it. In fact, I don’t think I ought even to write to you anymore, it just hurt so much to think of you and not be able to see you or hold you. But I sure do miss you.
Until next time (if there is a next time),
Love Always,
Your Sam
GF reposted 2/16/03
