Sam Goes to a Town Hall Meeting
May. 13th, 2010 09:25 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
gamgee_ficsTitle: Sam Goes to a Town Hall Meeting
Rating: G
Warning: AU
Genre: Parody, Humor
Length: Ficlet
Summary: A "What Would Sam Do?" fic. A response to the town hall meetings taking place in RL.
*Sam pulls pony-trap into parking lot and parks between a couple of SUVs. Gamgees climb off and get their things together.*
Sam: Isn't this great! These cities are so huge, I didn't figure on them having fairs!
Bilbo-lad: Can I ride the ponies?
Goldilocks: I want to get my face painted!
Rose: You've each been given a couple of pennies to do whatever you like. Just be sure to spend them wisely.
Elanor: I don't see any tents.
Sam: It's inside this big building here.
Frodo-lad: A fair inside? That's odd.
Merry-lad: You're just nervous, but I wouldn't worry. Your watermelon has got to be the largest ever grown! It's sure to win!
Frodo-lad: Thanks Merry.
Rosie-lass: I hope my wee blanket is good enough to at least place. I didn't have any red yarn.
Siblings: (exasperated) Not everything has to be red!
Rosie-lass: But red is delightful!
Rose: Now, now, children, you are to be on your best behavior. No fighting or squabbling or name-calling or provoking!
Children: Yes, Mother.
Sam: All right then, here we go!
*Sam opens door and they file into Town Hall, where people are fighting, squabbling, name-calling and provoking.*
Sam: This don't look right. Mayhap I got the address wrong.
Town Hall provoker #18: Death panels! Nothing but death panels! It's going to be like The Dinosaurs only less fun!
Town Hall provoker #84: Don't be an idiot, you !@*(#$* (!$*@#^%(.
Rose: Mayhap we should just go to the beach with Mr. Frodo. A bonfire would be just the thing!
Children: Yes, please!
Elanor: Let's get out of here before they start throwing things.
Sam: Men. Why can't they all just get along? And if I ever hear any of you children using that sort of language, you're getting your mouths washed out with soap.
Merry-lad: I told you letting him watch A Christmas Story was a bad idea.
Pippin-lad: At least he wasn't there when we were watching Oz.
Hamfast-lad: There was no wizard in that play.
Sam: What was that, lads?
Lads: Nothing, Father.
*They leave and go to join Mr. Frodo at the beach.*
(For those of you not familiar with The Dinosaurs, there was an ep in which older dinosaurs, if they're still alive once reaching a certain age, were expected to throw themselves off a high cliff, thus killing themselves and leaving the planet's resources for the younger generation. Earl was extremely excited about getting to throw his wheelchair-bound mother-in-law off the cliff, but then had a change of heart and took her home.)
GF 9/12/09
Rating: G
Warning: AU
Genre: Parody, Humor
Length: Ficlet
Summary: A "What Would Sam Do?" fic. A response to the town hall meetings taking place in RL.
*Sam pulls pony-trap into parking lot and parks between a couple of SUVs. Gamgees climb off and get their things together.*
Sam: Isn't this great! These cities are so huge, I didn't figure on them having fairs!
Bilbo-lad: Can I ride the ponies?
Goldilocks: I want to get my face painted!
Rose: You've each been given a couple of pennies to do whatever you like. Just be sure to spend them wisely.
Elanor: I don't see any tents.
Sam: It's inside this big building here.
Frodo-lad: A fair inside? That's odd.
Merry-lad: You're just nervous, but I wouldn't worry. Your watermelon has got to be the largest ever grown! It's sure to win!
Frodo-lad: Thanks Merry.
Rosie-lass: I hope my wee blanket is good enough to at least place. I didn't have any red yarn.
Siblings: (exasperated) Not everything has to be red!
Rosie-lass: But red is delightful!
Rose: Now, now, children, you are to be on your best behavior. No fighting or squabbling or name-calling or provoking!
Children: Yes, Mother.
Sam: All right then, here we go!
*Sam opens door and they file into Town Hall, where people are fighting, squabbling, name-calling and provoking.*
Sam: This don't look right. Mayhap I got the address wrong.
Town Hall provoker #18: Death panels! Nothing but death panels! It's going to be like The Dinosaurs only less fun!
Town Hall provoker #84: Don't be an idiot, you !@*(#$* (!$*@#^%(.
Rose: Mayhap we should just go to the beach with Mr. Frodo. A bonfire would be just the thing!
Children: Yes, please!
Elanor: Let's get out of here before they start throwing things.
Sam: Men. Why can't they all just get along? And if I ever hear any of you children using that sort of language, you're getting your mouths washed out with soap.
Merry-lad: I told you letting him watch A Christmas Story was a bad idea.
Pippin-lad: At least he wasn't there when we were watching Oz.
Hamfast-lad: There was no wizard in that play.
Sam: What was that, lads?
Lads: Nothing, Father.
*They leave and go to join Mr. Frodo at the beach.*
(For those of you not familiar with The Dinosaurs, there was an ep in which older dinosaurs, if they're still alive once reaching a certain age, were expected to throw themselves off a high cliff, thus killing themselves and leaving the planet's resources for the younger generation. Earl was extremely excited about getting to throw his wheelchair-bound mother-in-law off the cliff, but then had a change of heart and took her home.)
GF 9/12/09
